


Stuck

by orphan_account



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: M/M, klance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-02
Updated: 2017-08-02
Packaged: 2018-12-10 07:30:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11686926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: McLame: I need help. Don't ask questions, but I've somehow gotten myself trapped in an air vent, and all Pidge is doing is laughing at me.





	Stuck

_**McLame** opened a private chat with  **Keef**_

**McLame:** I need help. Don't ask questions, but I've somehow gotten myself trapped in an air vent, and all Pidge is doing is laughing at me.

 **Keef:**  I think I'm gonna have to join Pidge.

 **McLame:**  Yeah, I know, I can hear you. I'm in the air vent by your bedroom...not for any particular reason, of course.

 **Keef:**  ...that didn't sound creepy at all, no way. Why are you even in the vent?

 **McLame:**  Um, well...I may or may not have wanted to scare the everloving shit out of you by dropping into your bedroom dressed in all black. Sort of like a ninja, you know?  _Wa-pow._  Only...I got stuck.

 **Keef:**  ...you're a child that deserves what they had coming.

 **McLame:**  Yes, yes, we all know I'm like, five. This should not be news to any of you. Just please help me out of here before I run out of oxygen and die.

 **Keef:**  Air vents. They're full of air. You won't die.

 **McLame:**  Oh. Right. I think I'm starting to panic a little.   
**McLame** **:**  If you don't help me out of here, I'll be forced to sing Gasolina at the top of my lungs, over and over, and over again. I'm by your bedroom, don't forget that.

 **Keef:**  You wouldn't dare.

 **McLame:**  I would, and you know I would. Or, worse yet,  _Despacito_.

 **Keef:**  I will murder you.

 **McLame:**  But to murder me, you'd have to get me out of the vent first.

 **Keef:**  How are you even stuck? You're a stick, there's no way you could get stuck in there.

 **McLame:**  ...I may or may not have on multiple layers of clothing. You wouldn't have been afraid if it were just me, all tall and gangly, jumping into your bedroom from the ceiling. I needed to make myself look, well, beefier.

 **Keef:**  Oh my god.  
**Keef:**  Large. Child.

 **McLame:**  How many times do we need to establish this on a daily basis?

 **Keef:**  20, at least.

 **McLame:**  Are you going to help me or not? Pidge stopped answering my texts, and all Shiro said was "Good."

 **Keef:**  Because Shiro knows you deserve what happened, too.

 **McLame:**  But do I really deserve to die in an air vent? No food, no water, no TV, no grooming products...Oh my god, you need to get me out of here. If I don't have my face mask on by exactly 11:03 on the dot tonight, I'm going to break out all over the place.

 **Keef:**  And you would deserve that breakout entirely...but fine, I'll help you.

 **McLame:**  See? Even you don't want anything to happen to my pretty face.

 **Keef:**  No, because you're going to whine and complain all night.

 **McLame:**  I would have blown up your phone until it literally exploded. I don't know where you are now, but I'm pretty sure my voice echoes into your room pretty nicely, so you would've had to deal with that, too.

 **Keef:**  I'm in my room, but how am I supposed to get you out?  
**Keef:**  Do I really have to get in and push or pull you out?

 **McLame:**  What? Then why didn't you respond to my pathetic screaming, you monster.  
**McLame** **:**  But, yes, yes, you do. I am so stuck in here that I cannot even move.

 **Keef:**  I thought it was you in the training deck, not you in air vents. I didn't think you were that stupid.

 **McLame:**  Do I really scream that much while I'm training?

 **Keef:**  Sometimes.  
**Keef:**...but I guess I'll climb in from my room. You're not that far from the opening, right?

 **McLame:**  I...will keep that in mind. No wonder Hunk always comes in to ask if I'm okay. And no, I'm like, three feet from the vent. I can see your desk from here.

 **Keef:**  Yeah, okay, tone it down. It's sorta creepy you can see all that.

 **McLame:**  At least you have clothes on. Not that I would have said anything if you didn't, but.

 **Keef:**  Aaaand we've just bypassed creepy, and have gone directly into the danger zone.

 **McLame:**  Come ON, Keith. We're bros. Brohams. Brotato chips. Bromies. Nothing should be awkward between us unless we make it awkward.

 **Keef:**  I disagree, but whatever.

 **McLame:**  See? It's awkward because you made it awkward.

 **Keef:**  Oh, shut up. I'll leave you in there.

 **McLame:**  NO, MY FACE MASK.

 **Keef:**  I'll get you at 11:06.

 **McLame:**  KEITH, WAIT.

 **Keef:**  Noooope.

 **McLame:**  You should never get between a man and nightly grooming routine! My face will break out! My skin will get oily! My hair will lose it's bounce!

 **Keef:**  Oh no, say it ain't so. How tragic, what will we do without Lance doing his pretty boy routine.

 **McLame:**  I don't know, what  _will_  you do? I am the prettiest person on this entire goddamn ship. Without me, is being on Team Voltron even worth it?

 **Keef:**  Yes. Very much so.

 **McLame:**  It's okay, you don't have to lie.

 **Keef:**  Whatever, Lance. You have fun in there.

 **McLame:**  Wait, you're really going to leave me in here?

 **Keef:**  Yes.

 **McLame:**  A ELLA LE GUSTA LA GASOLINA.  
**McLame** **:**  DAME MAS GASOLINA.  
**McLame:**  Do  _not_  make me, Keith.

 **Keef:**  I will cover up the vent.

 **McLame:**  What, no, then I'll really die because there will be no AIR coming in from the AIR vent.

 **Keef:**  Whoops.

 **McLame:**  Comrades don't kill their comrades, Keith.

 **Keef:**  Meh. Fine. I won't.

 **McLame:**  Can you at least slide some food in here if you're not going to help me? I'm starving.

 **Keef:**  You ate breakfast, you'll live.

 **McLame:**  Yes, but you see, it is exactly three and a half minutes past my lunch time.

 **Keef:**  Oh no. Tragic. Say it ain't so.

 **McLame:**  Yes, very tragic indeed! See, you understand!

 **Keef:**  Sarcasm.

 **McLame:**  JUST GET ME OUT OF HERE.

 **Keef:**  Nah, I'm comfortable.

 **McLame:**  Are you laying in bed? Because that's just taunting me now.

 **Keef:**  Yeah, and reading a book, too.

 **McLame:**  ...what book are you reading?

 **Keef:**  Are you that bored?

 **McLame:**  Well, if you were stuck in an air vent with nothing but your cellphone that's currently at only 37% battery, wouldn't you be?

 **Keef:**  I wouldn't ever be stuck in an air vent.

 **McLame:**  Okay, but hypothetically.

 **Keef:**  Not even hypothetically. I would never.

 **McLame:**  Oh, right, Mr. Serious would never catch himself doing anything fun.

 **Keef:**  I have fun! Just not the kinda fun where I get caught in some vent.

 **McLame:**  Yeah, right, because training by yourself until you're on the verge of passing out is "fun".

 **Keef:**  I do more than just train.

 **McLame:**  I don't think anyone's ever seen you do more than just train.

 **Keef:**  Well, that doesn't mean I don't do other stuff.

 **McLame:**  Well, what kind of other stuff do you do? I'm curious.

 **Keef:**  ...  
**Keef:**  ...I read.

 **McLame:**  What a daredevil.

 **Keef:**  I'm leaving you in the vent.

 **McLame:**  What? No, get in here and save me, dammit.  
**McLame:**  Keith?  
**McLame:** Did I hear your bedroom doors just open and slide shut?  
**McLame:**  KEITH, COME BACK.  
**McLame:**  I KNOW YOU'RE READING MY MESSAGES. I CAN SEE THE LITTLE "R" BY THEM ALL.  
**McLame:**  KEITH!  
**McLame:**  WHAT ABOUT OUR BONDING MOMENT?

 **Keef:**  Oh, the bonding moment that you didn't remember?

 **McLame:**  YOU'RE NOT FUNNY, JUST GET ME OUT OF HERE ALREADY.

_**Keef** has removed himself from the chat_


End file.
